I came to the realization that every decision we make in our lives, is based on either love or fear. Meaning that everything we do, or don’t do, is directly connected to what we are most afraid of (abandonment), or doing something that comes from a place of wanting to connect with others in the most authentic way we know how (love). The concepts of love and fear are primarily derived from our past experiences. With this in mind I decided to post the story of what has happened to me over the last two years.
“Who are you if you are not your story?” Through the reading of Byron Katie and the work of Eckhart Tolle (see links below) both discuss that one must acknowledge the circumstances that comprise our lives — where we came from, how we grew up, the experiences we had — all facts that represent the past.
Receiving a terminal diagnosis has driven me to try and accept and be in the present moment, which allows me to do two things. One, let go of the past, and two, attempt to flourish in the present. The byproduct of these efforts is that a new narrative began to unfold.
There were many reasons to be afraid to post my story…too many to list. Those are all the fear based thoughts that often drive my action or inaction.
However, I began to realize that the only way I could transcend the narrative of my life is by letting it go. One way to do this was by sharing my story. In the readings that I have done over the last few months that have brought me the most comfort (books about Buddhism, Stillness Speaks – Echkart Tolle) I learned that I am not my story. We are simply beings on this earth here to have an experience. What causes pain in our life are the judgments that we attach to those experiences. I hope that what I have shared will help connect me with others, and in turn others with me, in both meaningful and uplifting ways.
— As usual, thanks and appreciation to Jill MacDonald for her wisdom, guidance and friendship.
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